Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
