This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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