Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
