Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize