Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
