if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
