you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
