you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
