why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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