The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
