Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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