i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
