Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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