Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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