you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Is this like a preordered booty call?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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