I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize