yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
