who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
