well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize