i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
