i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
