just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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