You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
