I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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