but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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