im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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