So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
