hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
