Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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