My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm getting married
To pizza
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize
