Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize