Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
