i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The air was thick with penises
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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