Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize