Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
