with your own penis?
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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