i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
