Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
is wine microwaveable?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
