i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
