Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
where are you?
Hypothermia
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
