I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
