Someone shit on the floor
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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