How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
