Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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