Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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