It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
