It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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