Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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