I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You are the jesus of drinking
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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