she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
