It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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