White coat. Heels.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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