its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I have tasted many bathrooms
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
