Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
