ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
