Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
