You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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