She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
