It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
