So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
