Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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