Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
