Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
