I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
